'Let me out! I need to go wank in my car!' OnlyFan's Andy Lee (from his Twitter)
It’s a been a funny old year, and not funny ‘haha’. Where the brand new ‘tier’ system is inducing more tears across the nation, the OnlyFans content creators are going to more and more desperate lengths to keep those subscribers getting it up and paying up.
A bit of al fresco action is nothing new and you don’t need to go far to find a local dogging spot anywhere in the UK. Believe us, you are closer than you think. When you’ve got nowhere to go, sometimes a darkened alley is a risk worth taking for some – regardless of the weather.
The pandemic has left guys with not a lot of options left. It’s been illegal for a large part of the year to have mates or hook-ups come round or to go to another dude’s house. Sure, you can defy the law, mask up and just engage in a bit of ‘fuck n go’ but that’s not what a lot of people want and we could all do with some human interaction.
That's not the gear stick!
So just like George Michael, let’s go outside! This week OnlyFans content creator Andy Lee got ‘caught’ jerking off with his mate in the front seat of his Ford Fiesta by an unsuspecting passer-by. What, you can’t even have a wank in the car anymore without someone sticking their oar in?
'Yikes! I was just rummaging about for my car keys!'
It’s like when someone tells you to mask up in Tesco when you left it in the car and couldn’t be bothered to traipse back to the multi storey when you just needed a pint of milk. Just us? Oh, ok then. Well maybe it’s not quite the same but isn’t everyone a mini jobsworth nowadays!
Blue balls thinking
OnlyFans is so clogged up with straight bait these days, you have to think outside the box in order to keep the funds rolling in. Mr Lee might not be winning any awards for acting but a quick look at his NSFW Twitter account and you get the gist of the sort of content you’ll get on his OnlyFans page. Cocks out with his mates and some group lad action with no actual touching god forbid. Cos then you’re a gay after all and they certainly ain’t that, GOT IT.
These are trying times and a guy’s got to make a living when unemployment rates are skyrocketing so what’s the harm? Just don’t get caught by a real guardian of the law as it won’t just be your cock that’s red raw, it’ll be your face too!